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Sunday Afternoon Walkabout by ~angrypanda:iconangrypanda:



The orange lances of the day’s last sunlight
Bathed blackened trees grasping
At the sky like dead fingers

I walked on ground covered
With dead leaves, golden-white;
Dreamlike Empyrean fields

I walked past trees with
Little candle-like leaves burning down
The length of their branches

Bushes like frozen fires
Red and orange foliage
Flickering in a sudden breeze

Ducks stationed like soldiers
On an opaque slate river
Webbed feet splayed on a pebbly creek bottom

I passed a stone staircase,
A many-layered cake, river-bound,
With an orange leaf frosting

Trees gave way to a plain of golden grass;
Far distant, the indigo silhouettes
Of trees against a violet mountainside

The daylight fails, and somewhere
A train whistles, a lost puppy’s wail,
A wandering prodigal son

Overhead, unseen ducks quack
Their mallardian farewells as they leave
For summer homes in the Keys
©2002-2009 ~angrypanda
:iconangrypanda:

Author's Comments

Sometimes the mood hits me to write some poetry. It's not that I'm good at it; sometimes I feel like I can't express myself any other way. This is a couple months old, but I thought I'd submit it. The poetry mood just hit me after I went out on a walk along a river behind my apartment.

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:iconvalkyre:
Extremely well written, good job
-----
Create & Innovate
Design: your dreams
Style: your life
Create: your structure
Innovate: your desires
:iconcripes:
You say that you are not a poet but you’ve have a nice eye for detail, a good hand at description and wonderful way of turning images on their head (for instance: train whistles, puppy’s wail – we often read of train whistles – lovely play on words imo). My biggest complaint would be an over-reliance on similes (like, like, like) make some of them metaphors and you will greatly strengthen this poem.

This is better than a lot of what so-called poets post imo.

Good work!!

Melissa

-----
Let the snake wait under
his weed
and the writing
be of words, slow and quick, sharp
to strike, quiet to wait,
sleepless

William Carlos Williams
:iconfatelessmirror:

Poetic walks, sigh... :) (Smile) Thanks for the ride.

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February 21, 2002
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